Shampoo
by llorolalluvia
Summary: A silly piece of fluffy lemon for ladelfin007, the 1000th reviewer of Clash of the Conjurers. Professor Granger convinces Professor Snape to wash his hair. It turns out Gryffindors can be very persuasive ;) ONESHOT! (forreal this time)


_I wrote this fic for __**ladelfin007**__ for being the 1000__th__ reviewer of Clash of the Conjurers. It was fully my intention to write a sweet little fluff piece, but apparently anything I write that doesn't contain angst must necessarily be peppered with silliness. As such, this is the first of its kind, so I hope you guys enjoy it! _

_And if you do, Please Review! _

…*~*J*~*…

Severus was comfortably settled into his favorite chair by the fire with a copy of The Daily Prophet when someone knocked on his door. _Ah, yes_, he thought, _right on time._ Tonight was the Potters' Annual Christmas Party, and this year, it seemed, he would be forced to attend.

It had been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts, and for four blissful Christmases Severus had declined their invitation. Unfortunately, as he had since discovered, even the Head of Slytherin House was not immune to certain methods of persuasion.

She knocked again, and Severus suppressed a sneer. Rather than pay her any mind, he turned his attention to an article detailing their recent breakthrough research regarding Wolfsbane. Idly, he wondered if she'd read it yet. _Don't be stupid. Of course, she has. _

"Severus!" she called. "I know you're in there!"

"I'm brewing," he called back without blinking an eye.

"You're _what!?_" The Slytherin did not deign to repeat himself. "Well if you think you're getting out of this…" She growled in frustration and Severus smirked. "You'd better let me in there!" With one lazy gesture of his hand, Severus lowered the wards on his door. Not a second had passed before the bushy-haired Mistress of Arithmancy stomped her way into his sitting room. "Severus Snape!" she huffed. "You _promised_ to go with me to this party, and I'm _not_ going to let you out of it! So you'd better get off your _arse_ and…" she hesitated, staring down at him with those beautiful cinnamon eyes (he knew this without looking at her, for his own dark eyes were currently skimming the Wolfsbane article). "You're not _brewing_!" She was indignant.

"Astute as always, Miss Granger."

Her hands were on her hips, now. "Oh, it's _Miss Granger_ again, is it? Well then, _Professor_, you had better get off your _bony_ arse and get ready to go, because I am _not_ showing up alone this year!"

"Good. I'd just as soon you stay here."

"Oh!" she huffed, dramatically. "Oh, don't worry. I'm _certain_ I could find a replacement, _Professor._"

He set down his paper at that and lifted an eyebrow at the insolent witch. "You wouldn't dare."

She smirked down at him. "As it happens, I would."

"Well, that would be most unfortunate for whomever you selected as I would certainly be forced to go to Potter's house, myself, and remove the offender."

"Well, then if you're going to end up there in any case, we might as well skip the part about the poor suffering fool and go together in the first place."

"Much as I would love the chance to make a scene and demolish an enemy like the good old days, perhaps it _would_ be better to maintain a lower profile."

The cheeky chit stifled a giggle at that. "Did you just say 'good old days?'" she smirked. He lowered his gaze in a dangerous scowl and she was wise enough to let it drop. "Alright then, get up and get ready."

"I _am_ ready."

Hermione folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, staring down at him for a long minute before she spoke. "You smell like potions and you haven't washed your hair."

"What else is new?"

"This is a _fancy_ party, Severus. People are going to be all _fancy._ You ought to wash your hair."

"For Potter?" he scoffed. "He's hardly worth it. And besides, you can hardly expect me to put forth more effort than you have, and Muggle jeans don't qualify as _fancy_."

"Well that's because I'm not ready yet, you silly man. We have an hour before we have to leave. You think I came here on time to pick you up? I think you know I know you better than that. Now, I'm going to tell you one more time to get in the shower, or else."

"Or else?" Severus's lip quirked as his eyebrow lifted in a challenge.

"I have my ways."

"Indeed?"

"Yes. I have come prepared for the worst."

"Hmmm."

"I didn't want to have to resort to this, Severus, but I will if I must…" When the surly wizard in question made no attempt to respond, Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "Alright, Severus. You asked for it." At that, to his astonishment, she pulled her jumper over her head. "I'm sorry that it has to come to this," she said, tossing off more layers as she started towards the bathroom. He had to turn in his chair to watch her progress across the room. There was a trail of clothing behind her. Finally, with her sculpted back and round little arse bared to his view, she reached the door to the bathroom and looked over her shoulder at him. Her hand on the doorframe and her body turned away as it was, he could only just barely see the swell of a round, perky breast. His mouth ran dry as she smirked at him triumphantly. "I'll just say this, Severus," she said. "_I_ am going to take a shower. _You_ can either stay out here and read the paper… or you can join me." And with that, she disappeared.

Hermione had hardly stepped beneath the spray of hot water when Severus entered the bathroom. As he cast off the many layers of his clothes, she began humming, though from humor or nervousness she couldn't be sure. Close as they had grown over the past year or so, the dark man still gave her cause to tremble. Not that she would ever tell him that. The iron rings rattled against the bar as he pulled the curtain aside and Hermione's heart jumped into her throat as the Potions Master stepped over the edge with a draft of frozen air.

"You naughty minx," he growled, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. His flesh was cold and hard as stone, and she gasped at the closeness of his contact. Hot water pounded against their skin, heightening their desires as the chill of winter washed away. As if snapping out of some hypnotic state, she twisted around in his grasp and grabbed a bar of soap. She would have her way before he persuaded her otherwise. Lathering her hands, for want of any loofa, she began with his shoulders, sudsing the smooth skin in eager circles. He laughed at her. "You are determined, aren't you?" But before she could answer, he had taken her soap and was sudsing his own hands. "Two can play at that game," he told her, smirking.

The soap was slick against her skin and that sweet friction (or lack thereof) between his hands and her bare breasts would drive her mad if she let it. But she was determined. Snatching the soap back, she brushed a trail across his arms and down his stomach, scrubbing tenderly at the rough scars she knew by heart. It was an effort as Severus Snape was currently groping every part of her visible body, lathering her with soap and panting through the steam. The proof of his arousal was enormous.

"Hermione," he murmured in a voice thick with need. He took her freshly lathered hands and drew them down to the length of his hard cock. "Here next," he told her. She smirked and gripped the thick shaft with both sudsy hands, gently lathering him with the slick soap. He groaned. "Yes, good girl," he told her and she scowled at him even as a shiver of desire swept down her spine. Then the Potions Master's hands were between her legs, teasing her arousal with slick friction. She couldn't hold back a whimper.

But that was not what this was about. Snapping herself out of it again, she reached for the shampoo. But before she could so much as pop open the cap, Severus's long fingers dug into her sides, lifting her in one swift motion against the wall and settling himself between her legs. She squealed at the sudden loss of control and flailed about helplessly as he mocked her with a grin. "Teasing little temptress," he scolded as her ankles linked behind his back. And then he was inside of her and Hermione's head fell back with a groan.

Their bodies were slick and hot as the water washed over their lovemaking. "Oh, _yes_, Severus," she heard herself say. He felt so good between her legs, his arms around her waist, his hair between her fingers. _That's right! His hair!_ Hermione's eyes popped open and she dumped shampoo over the grouchy man's head before he could tell her otherwise. He growled and closed his eyes, but otherwise said nothing as she began to lather and he began to thrust. Suds seeped down between their bodies, slickening their flesh and making Hermione moan.

Satisfied that his hair had been properly lathered, Hermione surrendered to the torrent of sensation at his hands. Her head fell back against the tile with a moan as one hand tangled in his hair, the other still absentmindedly clutching the shampoo. Severus growled and pressed his face into her neck, nipping at the tender skin as he pounded hard against her. Then his breath was on her ear, his tongue trailing a teasing tickle up the side. He huffed a laugh against her ear. "Your turn." Suddenly, the bottle was gone from her grasp and cool shampoo was pouring all over her head. He froze a moment just to watch her with amusement.

"You git!" she screeched, pushing bubbles from her eyes.

"Fair's fair," he shrugged, hefting her higher to improve their angle.

Her protests broke off with a moan. "Since when," she gasped, "have Slytherins—oh _Merlin_—ever—ah—played fair?"

"An excellent point," he grunted Summoning the bar of soap into his hand and bringing it between their bodies to rub against her clit.

"Ooooh! That's… that's…" Suddenly, Hermione simply _needed_ to be on top of him. "Go… down. Down."

"Pardon?"

"Down. Just… oh! Just do it!"

Severus tried to set her down, but she clung to him and pulled and tugged incoherently until he ended up on his back beneath the torrent of hot water. _Yes!_ This was what she needed. Hermione lifted and slammed herself up and down his shaft with unprecedented fervor, her nails biting into his shoulders as his wide black eyes drooped closed in heady pleasure. When he remembered the soap, he brought it back to that magical bundle of ecstasy at her core and Hermione only needed three more thrusts before she was coming hard as water pounded at her back. Her hands slipped off his shoulders, bruising against the tile as he gripped her hips and hammered into her from below. Moaning, Hermione took inspiration with the soap and sudsed her breasts before leaning down to press them flat against him. _"_Oh! _FUCK!" _he cried out, spasming beneath her as he filled her with his seed. For one long moment, they simply panted together as the spray of the shower beat against their slickened flesh. Then, Hermione pulled her soapy hair in front of her and wrung it out over his face. "What was _that_ for!?" he sputtered.

She merely laughed down at him. "Fair's _fair_," she said, pulling herself up to rinse the remainder of the shampoo from her hair. Severus used her slippery limbs to pull himself to his feet and shoved his way beneath the water so that his runoff trickled down her pretty face. And when she closed her eyes against the deluge, he wrapped his arms about her waist and caught her lips in a simple kiss.

"Tell me, Miss Granger," he growled, pulling away from her eager mouth amid whimpers of protest. "When we arrive together at Potter's party, running late and soaking wet, what do you suppose they will imagine?"

"Well," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and toying with his soap-slicked silky hair, "whatever they do think, there's no way in Hell they could ever imagine _that._" Reaching up on her tiptoes, Hermione caught Severus's mouth in another kiss, teasing his tongue and tasting the water on his skin. He growled against her mouth and tightened his grip around her waist. Panting, Hermione broke away from him. "And anyway," she continued, breathless, "we're not actually running late."

At that, the Slytherin Head grinned deviously down at the woman in his arms. His hands snaked down to cup her perfect bum and he leaned forward to growl a whisper in her ear. "Don't worry," he told her. "We will be." And before she could say another word, he had reached for the soap once again.

_The End!_

…*~*J*~*…

_:}_

_Please Review!_

_-llorolalluvia_


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